I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
