I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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