Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
