Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
