Your face is a jimmy john
Say something about gay babies.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
