Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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