i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
