then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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