I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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