I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
