So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
