You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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