She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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