i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
