is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
