I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
