isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
