We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
