whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
