Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
