bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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