i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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