I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
