Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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