Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
