Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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