absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
