I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
