sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
