woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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