strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
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