just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
