You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
