need another drink. this is the easiest way
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just had sex bonerless
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
