Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
