1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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