So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
