PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
