Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
