So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
