shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
