You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
