so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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