this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
