whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
