I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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