KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
