Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
