if only i could text you this smell
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
