So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
